It’s been a day where I stayed home from work and slept in until 1pm- I was certain I was getting sick but I think my allergies flared up and were causing all the mayhem they could cause.

I’m now sitting on the balcony with my housemate and it’s dark out but the night is still buzzing after an extremely warm day, the kind of day where my carpeted room gets hot even with the blinds closed. The kind of day where you hear flies zooming around even when they aren’t there.

Underneath us on the pavement there are teenagers moving quickly, nervously, talking to people on speaker phones.

I hear little stones hitting the gravel below and realize my housemate has been tossing all the cherry pits off the balcony.

The future seems a little confusing and limitless and exciting and potentially disappointing all at once. School, work, and home are all elements which feel pretty up in the air right now but I’m not entirely down trodden about it.

It feels really good to be typing in the dark outside with a friend close by. It’s only 9pm and I know I should be in bed soon but I’m a little nervous about how long it’s going to take for me to fall asleep after sleeping for most of the day.

If I’m going to try to post here more often then I want to practice writing and not needing it to be all nicely wrapped and perfect before making it public. It feels like a microcosm of what I’m trying to do in the big picture too- I just need to show up and be alright with the imperfections, because it’s more important to practice and allow myself to be seen than to keep hiding and pretending that eventually I’ll be perfect enough to show up fully.