i am here

I am here after a long time of being elsewhere

with you, with them, with her,

I’ve been everywhere.

Mostly I have been in my own mind, running the same track over and over and over and crying the same tears and thinking that every lap I make somehow will take me somewhere else. But today I walked off the track.

I remembered that I brought myself here

and the world didn’t make the moves moves I wanted it to

so I had to

and I chose.

I’ve been choosing things all along - for a moment there it just felt like you were saying you wanted to walk on the same loop as me but actually you just wanted someone to sit with you on the sidelines

and I did for a while

but eventually I realized you had no intention of going back out to the track to keep walking-

and I must keep walking.

So that’s what I did - I got up and I kept walking.

I forgot that I can always just keep going

and whoever is walking at the same pace as you will be there

it won’t even be hard to be in the same spot, it will just happen.

So now I’ve chosen again. I’ve chosen to walk at my own pace and I have a new walking mate - actually, I have many. I was never walking by myself. And sometimes we listen to music

and sometimes we talk

but we always keep walking.