last day of winter

Tomorrow is the first day of Spring and on the radio they said it will be official as of 5:37am tomorrow. I think I’ll wake up when it’s still dark (even though it’s a Saturday) and go to one of my favourite sitting spots on a trail I love. I’m going to bring incense and maybe some candles and a thermos with tea and welcome the new season as it comes. I have been waiting for winter to break for so long. This is the first year I have felt genuinely unable to succumb to winter’s slowness and now I can’t wait to be enveloped in this new season. It feels like getting ready to greet an old friend.

Most of the time they think I’m too serious

and I need to learn to laugh at myself more.

So I bought this lipstick called Laugh Louder

in hopes that an authentic smile would come with the pigment.

But I’m tired.

Why does it matter if you’re good at something if it doesn’t bring you joy?

They say not to play to the gallery

not to work for another’s approval

so I’m going back to where I started

making words

sometimes rhymes

and not thinking about it too much.

There is much to be done

and it isn’t going to make sense all the time.

Not to me, not to anyone else.

But still, I will follow the quiet Knowing

and not jump to conclusions when I think I know where we’re headed.

I don’t.

And that is why making art is so scary. Its just another word for trust.