where are we?

I know how it is right now to be removed from the disasters, but that is perhaps all I know.

I’m so aloof but so serious at the same time…

not sure what to make of this place anymore.

Wanting to tune in as much as possible, put my ear to the ground and track the trouble;

follow it until I know what to do to help. I am addicted to the knowing and the research even if it drives me crazy - I want to be able to say I could tell the story with accuracy even if I feel like a ghost who cannot alter the outcome.

I keep thinking about all the moments from films we love where people believe that one person can make a difference and change the outcome and everyone bands together to save the underdog.

But it seems we’re already far too late.

In my dreams last night I was on a boat. It was a sunny day. The boat was full of water. It was also full of orphans. The boat was sinking very slowly.

I was looking for the living ones, try to get them off the boat, but I was also being followed by a woman who wanted me dead. She wanted me to go down with the ship.

I moved through corridors and went up and down tiny staircases in search of bodies still living while I listened for the slithering of my stalker under the surface of the water.

I think I made it off the boat, or I was about to when I woke up. It was still sunny. But I woke up feeling like I had done something to help.

Will the only help we have to offer be in our dreams?

When will it stop?