the end of the world

The photo above is a picture I took in Spain in 2019 after a day of walking on the Camino de Santiago. I was heading to a small bar in the building on the right for some supper and the sky looked like something dramatic was about to happen. I think ever since the US presidential inauguration happened I feel like what the sky looks like in this photo. I feel like I’m waiting and holding my breath and just watching and quietly looking up. I am afraid. And I don’t want to be told to calm down or breathe. I think there is a beauty in the honesty I am experiencing when I say what is really going on inside of me.

Last night I couldn’t sleep and part of the reason why is because of how many ideas I have buzzing through me right now. I think what is happening politically right now has me feeling like I have very little to lose right now if I put myself out there. Because nothing seems like it’s going to last very long. Right now feels like a giant inhale before the big cosmic moment when… something just happens.

All of my ideas are happening next week I decided. I took the week off work to focus on creative projects and hopefully get some things rolling and I’m very excited about it. The stakes have never felt so low. My threshold for giving a damn about what anyone else thinks is almost nonexistent. This has never happened before. But in my wildest dreams I did not think a potentially impending apocalypse would mentally move me from depression into daring greatly in one fell swoop, but it has. I feel like my mind and my body are finally colliding and it’s just in time. I’ve got some things to say. We’ll see what happens here, at the end of all things..and potentially, the beginning too.